Tonight is not a usual Friday night; tonight, anticipation and expectation mixed with bustling and preparing, amounts to a Friday night that comes before the departure of an important trip. Tonight is the night before I leave for Haiti.
I keep getting asked the same question; “Are you excited, or are you nervous?” As I said before, I am both. I am so incredibly thrilled to return to a place that means so much to me. To see the same things, to smell the same potent smells (some bad and some good, however all unique to Haiti), and to feel all of the many feelings again, is riveting to think “I get to do all of that TOMORROW!” Also, I am eager to experience Haiti in a different way; as a leader to high school students who are going through exactly what I went through two years ago. Then for more excitement, after the high school trip, I will be greeted with some of the most amazing people to experience Haiti in a whole different way yet again.
But then I am also nervous. When I start to think about all of it, I get slightly distressed. I think about how I have this incredible opportunity to go to a country with the intentions that I am going to help… except Haiti is a country that is so intensely in need and here I am stressed about packing for myself so I am ready. Which then actually makes me feel unprepared; unprepared spiritually, mentally, and physically. Leading up to this trip, I have been focusing too much on myself. It makes me nervous that I won’t be able to properly help because I haven’t done enough preparation focusing on what is most important; God. It’s such a difficult feeling to explain, but I don’t think you can ever feel fully prepared for something like this. I feel like I could have done so much more. It feels like time just flew in the past year and this night slyly crept up on me. So although I am excited, I think my nerves are slightly taking over.
Except now there is nothing I can do to become more prepared, so on a less serious note, instead of sitting around and letting my thoughts overwhelm me, I made home made granola. An unusual quirk of myself, I handle stress and emotions with cooking and baking. I find that spending time with tasks in the kitchen is rather calming. So I hit up Pinterest and found a delectable chocolate peanut butter granola recipe and got to work. I even let you all enjoy it when it was fresh out of the oven with pictures below! By the way, it was in fact delicious 🙂
Now, all emotions aside, I am certain that amazing things are going to take place starting tomorrow. Haiti truly is a life changing experience and I am ready and willing to experience more.
Now to rest,